The Fear Factor
The Board results will be out soon. Are you worried?

By Archana Sharma
Waiting for the Board results can be an unnerving experience. It often ends up being far more stressful than the process of preparing for the examinations itself. Not only the students, but the parents and other family members also face stress during this wait. However, it is not only the worry and excitement about the results that occupies the minds of the students. A certain amount of negative thinking and imagination also accompanies the thought process. Everyday conversations within the family or with friends are dominated by discussions about the results, stream selection, and course selection. In all, it's not really a fun time for anyone in the family!

TOO MUCH WORRY
Exams on your mind? No matter what the tone of the conversation is, exams are definitely the most important issue in most families and student groups right now. But are results really that important?

Isn’t it that they are given undue importance by everyone around us? After all, aren’t they just another result? Yes, they’re important and can affect your college admissions, but is it the end of life? Certainly not! It's just that our perspective is faulty.

It is important to understand that the Board results are indicative only of your performance in the examinations and are unlikely to have any significant and irreversible impact on your life as a whole. On the face of it, the Indian system of education is such that your career seems to be affected by a single examination. However, remember that it only affects - it is not the deciding factor - and there are many other things that come into play.

Other factors such as your determination, your sincerity, your diligence, and real abilities (not only the ones that the examination assesses) are the real deciding factors in your success. Each student wants to do the best and aims for the top position in his or her career. For this, the obvious route is to get admission in a top college or Institute. But are all people from the best colleges and institutes doing the best in the job market? Are all people who are at the top just from the best schools?

A FRESH LOOK
The truth is that even if you are not able to get into the top colleges, it is not the end of the road. In spite of all these facts, it does not take much of an effort to fall prey to the stress of the exam results. But it's possible to remain positive! Try to beat the stress by following the tips given here. Of course, it is easier said than done, but if you do not give up too soon, you will find them working for you. Since much of the time is devoted to preparing for a new stream of study (science, commerce, or humanities) or a new course or specialisation, we'll focus on how you can handle these issues specifically:

• Stop discussing the exams. They are over; there is no point in getting unnecessarily worked up about your performance. Discussions will only add more pressure on an already anxious mind. Therefore, the most effective way to keep away from result-related stress is to stop discussing about the exam once you are done
  with it
• Dealing with advice about stream/career choices given by concerned relatives and neighbours is important. They all mean well for you; there is no doubt about it. But you know your life and circumstances better than anyone else. Just because many other are doing a particular course does not mean that it is the best course for you as well. Your abilities and interest and your circumstances should decide what career path you choose, not what everyone is doing. If everyone is giving the IIT-JEE or medical examinations, it may or may not be suitable for you. However, do listen to everyone with due respect and politeness. Enquire about any career option that might be useful and discuss your doubts and questions. Advice does not mean that you change your decision overnight and there's no harm in listening, Objectively evaluate each piece of advice and use unbiased resources such as the Internet and print media to validate what you have learnt. I have seen many students jumping from one career decision to another overnight! There's no hurry so think any decision through!
• What is best for your friend may not be half as good for you. At this age, it is common for students to make career decisions depending upon what their friends are doing. The truth is that this process might end up being limiting for you. Do not assume that the stream/career your friend is planning to pursue is best for you too. Do adequate research about all options, and then arrive at a decision.
• Think positive and plan for the future. This is the best time for introspection. Set your goals and draft plans to achieve your goals. Analyse your strengths and weaknesses to take stock of the situation. And please keep your academic marks out of it. Doing so will keep your mind fresh, let you focus on other important tasks, and will also prevent negative thoughts from cropping up.
• Learn a new hobby or give yourself time to unwind. Reviving your favourite pastimes and hobbies and adding on to your skills is the best thing to do at this time. One can also focus on their personality development, such as joining English-speaking courses which would not only help you improve your communication skills but also help you gain that confidence that is very much required once you move out of the comfort zone of your school. Read, play football, meet your friends - keep yourself in a positive zone!
• l Indulge in some regular physical activity. This will help you stay fit and also keep your head cool. Exercise and sport will rejuvenate you for a new study schedule and the pressures that are sure to come once the results are out.
• The growth of numerous opportunities in the educational field has actually simplified the process of decision making rather than complicating it. More educational opportunities mean more chances of getting the course that you wish to pursue. These days, students have access to the best courses and career opportunities tailored to their liking, budget and abilities. Remind yourself that with so many options around, there's no way you'll get 'left behind' as you fear.

PARENTAL ROLE
As a parent it is normal for you to be concerned about your children’s well being. And academic success plays a huge role in helping them decide their careers. However, we must realise that sometimes, parents inadvertently end up putting unhealthy pressure on their children. As was rightly put by a girl who just appeared for her XII boards, “My parents do not pressurise me; but of course they do have expectations and it is my duty to fulfil their expectations.”

Many a times, parents tell their children that they are free to pursue whatever they want to; however, even subtle comments about how well the neighbour’s son is doing, or how popular engineering or Charted Accountancy are these days might set off negative thoughts. Even frequent references to how their exams have been and asking them what their expectations are can add to the stress. It is this indirect pressure that children feel and respond to.

Most importantly, parental expectations should also be realistic. As parents, you surely realise what their true potential is, but it is common for parents to either overestimate or underestimate their children’s abilities. And in both the cases, the pressure mounts on children.

In case your overestimate their potential for a certain field of study, the pressure will rise. And if you underestimate their potential, they might end up suffering from a lack of confidence and self-doubt. More often than not, parents tend to blame their children for a lack of effort. It might be true in many cases; but not in all. In many cases, it is so that the child is already putting in a mammoth effort to achieve his optimum potential.

Pushing beyond a point is futile as it not only stresses the child, but is also detrimental for your future relationship with the child. Many nagging parents eventually do succeed in helping the child achieve the best in their careers; however, at the cost of their own relationship with them.

DEALING WITH THE RESULTS
Even if you and your children are confident about the results, tell them patiently that your love for them is not dependent on a mark sheet! Come whatever may, you both shall be able to deal with it. In case the result actually turns out to be worse than expected, keep your cool and try to handle the situation rather than blaming the child. That won't help matters at all!

A result is reality and an outburst won’t change it. Accept it and take some time to bring up the matter with your children. You need to make the child understand that underperformance in an exam is not final. The confidence levels of your children are important for them to excel in life. Sit with your children and listen to them about why they think they failed to get good marks or failed to pass. Listen without judging. Don’t start imposing your ideas about what they did wrong. Understand their version and concerns first. After listening to them, convey politely that while they could have done better, this failure is not final. Explain to them that you have faith in them and they can excel in anything they choose to do. Avoid playing on the fear factor; it will only make the child lose their confidence.

For both students and parents, it is undoubtedly the results period that really brings butterflies to the stomach. However, it is important for children and parents to remain objective and during this phase. The bottom line remains that one has to accept reality and move on - no matter how the results are!

STAY COOL!
In case your results are not according to your expectations, please accept that not everyone can perform the best. In fact, it is not mandatory or expected that you will perform your own best in a single examination. If the results are not up to your expectations, do not give up, but take it up as a challenge; strive and work towards better results for the next academic year. Look out for any depressing and negative thoughts within yourself and reach out to people who can help. At times the stress might reach unprecedented levels. However, remind yourself that this too is a phase and learning from past mistakes should be used to build a new life. If a door closes, a new one will open. At such times, the focus should be on helping students count their strengths and analyse past mistakes. Family members are often disturbed and this can lead heated exchanges or words and blame game; but it settles with time - probably as soon as thoughts about what to do next take over the mind!